Is it ever truly appropriate to tell someone they can do better?
Drake has made one of the saltiest songs of all time in Marvin's Room. One of the stand out lines are, "Fuck that nigga that you love so bad, I'm sure you still think of all the times we had...I'm just saying, you can do better." I just don't think it's valid (or cool, for that matter) to tell someone else this. Doesn't matter if it's an ex, a best friend, a family member, etc.
To clarify, don't confuse this for me saying I will not tell a friend to exit a relationship (I have & will again...maybe even today). If somebody says they are in an unfruitful or abusive relationship, I will not hesitate to tell them that they don't need to be with that person and to get out of it. The difference is, I don't feel anybody outside of the relationship has the grounds to tell somebody in it to exit because they don't look good enough (or some such shit).
I've come across this in the past, where people looked at a relationship and said that one of them could do better based on their feelings about the other person. I felt they were out of line. Nobody knows how somebody else can make you feel and what you can get emotionally out of a relationship but you. To try and use your opinion of somebody (whether it be a high opinion of a friend or a low opinion of a friend's sig. other) as grounds as to why they shouldn't do what they want to do with their romantic life is pompous & vain.
Have you ever told someone they could do better? Did they listen? What made you think this? Has anybody ever told this to or about you? Please share your thoughts and opinions in the comments below?
lol at "saltiest songs of all time" LOL... true story.
ReplyDeletecant lie tho, i still got this shit on repeat
It's a good song and way too catchy. While typing this I kept singing it in my head.
ReplyDeleteI liked this post because I had just tweeted those lyrics(Jojo's version) earlier lol. But if it's true, then I see no reason in why you can't tell someone that they deserve better(can do better). Now if that person feels that way out of jealousy then their comments should be kept to themselves.
ReplyDeletei think you hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeletei'd find it very difficult for someone to comprehend what an individual experienced in that relationship with that specific person.
you cant relate to how they felt physically or emotionally in their relationship.
but i do think people who say "you can do better" do it as a means to be encouraging ...maybe.
"you can do better" that phrase just rubs me the wrong way.
Lece, expand on "if it's true". How would you know?
ReplyDeleteThanks, LSS. I feel like when people say that it's coming from a selfish place.
sometimes its hard to judge especially when you're talkin about breakups/relationships.
ReplyDeleteI mean, if you see them being treated like crap, but they dont see it, then I think that then it's acceptable to tell them and let them know they can do better than said person
ReplyDeleteI mentioned that in the post. When it comes to abuse or if the person clearly says they aren't happy then suggesting them to leave is completely justifiable, IMO. Is that the only time you would tell someone this?
ReplyDeleteYes, but i'd be a lie if I didn't say that I've told male friends this about their current chick. Especially if the chick was no good(in my eyes) and I liked them
ReplyDeleteGood debate :)
ReplyDeleteI think you should let them decide for themselves when enough is enough.... Only they know what they want and can put up with
ReplyDelete